ALL HOCKEY EQUIPMENT

is what you do when you are getting ready for a big break. I am going to get one of those soon enough.

A break is when you get a little bit of upper (or lower) knowledge, the inside scoop, a little something, something.

Oh Ding Dang Dong. Shit. I have sunken down to the depths of H.E.double hockey sticks again. It seems as if I have been forsaken and sent to the siberia of the damned. I had better get up to talk to my upper trainer. First I need to find my lion Aslan who is located in my middle area. He is sitting next to the flowery area in the courtyard of pedlow place.

"Hello Aslan". and Aslan purrs contendedly. He yawns and shows his mouthful of serrated teeth.

I look to my left and see my friend Pascal. He is my middle trainer. I love Pascal. He doesn't say anything but he is fun and sweet as anything. Pascal has a fizzy drink that he is holding out for me. Fizzy juice, I love that stuff. It does something, like it fizzes me up. Pascal is gesturing for me to climb into the balloon and catch a ride up.

I am in the balloon and my trusty bee is buzzing by my side. She is my best friend and lately she has been being a bee named Bumblebore. "BumbleBore, don't forget this is an upside down picture, when we go up we are really going down to the up of downland."

Up we go, up, up up up up up up up up up up up up up, up up up, up up up, up up up up up up up. To make a long story short, we arrive finally.

"Phew, it is scorching hot up here. I am going to drink the rest of my fizzy juice." I say, and I do. I am feeling fine. I am estruating and not intuating which is a beginners mistake.

"BumbleBore, who is in charge in the down, down down? I heard that K.W. is a trainer now. He is not here is he?

BumbleBore is buzzing frantically. She begins to take the form of a familiar puffalump. BumbleBore is good for lots of things but she can't talk and bumble at the same time.

"B.G..You are ever such a Dumb Dumb. We warned you about this very thing. Would you look at that Egglomaniac. His head is as big as a house."

" He looks like Humpty Dumpty. Now what do we do?"

"Perhaps you should spellerate him."

"O.K. Emily. I will spellerate him but I am not going to talk to him. You have got to be joking that I have to deal with this kind of crap.

"Emily laughs and laughs and laughs and all the demons from H.E.double hockeysticks appear and they all laugh merrily.

I love that as a title for a book. "And they all laugh Merrily."

And so we do.

This picture was drawn upside down.

Dartmouth goaltender Bobby Gaudet, now the Big Green's coach, and Mark Bedard. I once came upon Gaudet playing catch with one of his sons before a little league game. Son was using a baseball glove and Bobby was using his college hockey glove, presumably the one in the photo above. Somehow, it seemed wrong that a mitt once used to lead the Big Green to NCAA glory was now catching baseballs. On a second note, check out Gaudet's stick, which is a Tommy Keane model. Tommy Keane's was a local sports shop, specializing in golf, but it also supplied Dartmouth with a good amount of athletic equipment. This was the old days and you couldn't easily get gear, even from Boston. So I'm guessing Tommy Keane's had a deal with one of the major stick makers where they put their logo on a blank product.